Confidence… what does it mean? What is it? Why do both children and adults need it?

What comes to mind when you hear the word confidence?

Do you think of boldness? Ability to speak up? Willingness to try new things? What else comes to mind?

Do you think of confidence as a skill or feeling that both children and adults need to push through in life? Did you know that the foundation of confidence is laid during the earliest stages of a child’s social emotional development?

According to the Miriam Webster Dictionary, “confidence is a feeling or consciousness of one’s power or of reliance on one’s circumstances”. Confidence is someone’s ability to be aware of their own power and abilities. Whether you are a child or an adult, it is important to be aware of who you are and what you can do. Confidence gives us the internal drive and power to keep going in the face of hardships. We all will face challenges and confidence helps give us the resilience to push through and know in ourselves that we can do it.

Confidence first begins building through the parent-child relationship. Here are a couple quick tips to support children in building their confidence. Head on over to our instagram to see more!

• How adults respond to children in different situations helps them start building their sense of self. Respond is a calm and supportive manner. Watch the automatic reactions that come from you and what message they put off.

• Children also look to those around them to see what confident behavior looks like, we are models for them. Even if you are unsure of yourself in a certain situation, push through. Show children doing new things is possible.

• Show them it is okay to try new things and make mistakes. Mistakes are not failure, they are growth.

• Encourage children to try new things and be a safe place for them to come when they are learning.

• Praise children when they are willing to push through and persevere. Often what is praised in children, they are more willing to do.

For more tips on building self-confidence in children (and honestly even in adults), check out Child Mind Institute’s resource.

Self-confidence is built over time. It is not based on a one time experience. Moreover, it is built as children experience new things and how parents respond to them in the midst of those experiences. Encouragement, support, love, and patience are all responses that help children know that it is okay to try new things. It also helps them to push through trials. It shows them their worth is not tied to what they do but who they are as a person.

How many of you have ever had to try something new? What were your initial thoughts to yourself about your own abilities or the situation? Did you believe you could do it or did doubt creep in? Maybe it was a new job or a new relationship. I know there have been times when trying something new myself that I have felt scared or unsure, but I had the confidence in my abilities to push through the “what ifs”. Self-confidence helps with those second conversations that we have with ourselves after the initial thoughts wear off. Having a strong support system also helps with self-confidence, because you know there are people there you can fall back on, who will encourage you, and see your good qualities not just insecurities.

So now what?

1) examine your own confidence levels- how are you showing up in your responsibilities and relationships? Your own level of confidence directly impacts your supportiveness of those around you as they try new things.

2) determine areas that you can grow- small daily steps make progress. How can you directly build your own confidence?

3) find at least one way you can help build confidence in someone else by encouraging them and supporting them.

4) be willing to learn- learn a new skill, how to support someone else, or even learn how to build confidence. One way you can do that is through my upcoming webinar! As we have discussed, self-confidence begins growing during early childhood as children’s social emotional development starts growing and evolving. Have you ever had questions on what social emotional development is, why it’s important, and how to support it? Well your questions are about to be answered! Next Tuesday, on April 16th at 7 PM CST/8 PM CST, I will be going through those questions and more on the “Foundations of Social Emotional Development” webinar. All attendees will also get access to some worksheets and resources they can use with their own children or within their own relationships. Registration is $10 and you can register through the form at https://alocivitas.com/our-work/ . Once registration is complete, you will receive an email with zoom information. Come learn and have some fun with me! Social emotional development is one of my favorite topics to share about!