Comparison is the Thief of Joy

In today’s era of our lives being so public through social media, it is super easy to compare ourselves, our lives, our accomplishments with other people’s. Often times we compare our worst or even our baseline with the highlights that we see on social media or hear about through conversation with those around us. Most people are not willing to share their struggles due to fear of judgement or even feelings of potential inadequacy that arise. Even think about what you may share about what is going on within your life, how transparent or forward are you really?

I am not advocating that we all need to go air all of our dirty laundry in front of all audiences, but what I am challenging you to do is stop and listen to that second conversation that comes into your head when you hear or see what is happening to others around you. Are you the person that instantly is happy or praises the accomplishment of that person or is there some kind of snarky remark like “it must be so easy for them” or “I would be able to do that too if …” I know I have had moments in my own life where my instant knee jerk reaction is less than positive when I see or hear about someone’s success or accomplishment even if they are someone I truly care about, because I am comparing myself to them in that moment. Comparison not only steals our joy but takes away any feeling of empathy, compassion, or joy that we can share or express toward that other person. The next time someone shares something either with you or on social, watch your reaction, pause, and really dive into what the deeper meaning is behind that reaction. Are there certain kinds of “triggers” that tend to bring out your comparison moreso then others? For me personally, financial comparison is a big one seeing what people spend their money on in comparison to where I am financially. BUT I am only getting part of the picture and know that I personally am in a growth season both with my husband being in training and growing a business from scratch. What is that thing for you? Is it financial, fitness or physical appearance, the clothing choices people have, business or position status, education, popularity, or even how people portray their family?

This week’s topic is the second of three parts about emotional wellness. Often comparison comes from our own insecurities. In order to be emotionally well, we need to build confidence about who we are and where we are at in life, even if we desire to push forward and grow. For those that are parents or involved in the lives of children in some aspect know that children pick up on these things too. Often more is caught then taught meaning children see how we react, speak, respond in situations both good and bad. How do we talk about ourselves out loud around them? How do we teach them to talk about themselves or the level of expectation that they place on themselves? Our society is set up to compare people against each other (awards, grades, etc), but teaching children their value is in who they are and not what they do… do any of us need to learn that lesson too?

Please share this week’s edition or this newsletter as a whole with those with influence (parents, business, or community leaders) and be rewarded 🙂